Jump to content


Photo

Greek Humour


  • Please log in to reply
52 replies to this topic

#21 yannis_s

yannis_s

    Crete Explorer

  • Administrator
  • 1,072 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Heraklion, Crete

Posted 11 October 2006 - 07:00 PM

I love Crete B)



Posted Image



Posted Image



Posted Image



If you liked this tatoo, then you can create your own at: http://www.crustydem...tattoo_parlour/
Yannis Samatas
webmaster

#22 Ton

Ton

    Crete Explorer

  • Club Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 365 posts

Posted 14 December 2006 - 07:15 PM

Four married men go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place:

First guy:
"You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife I will paint every room in the house next weekend."

Second guy:
"That's nothing; I had to promise my wife I will build a new pool deck.

Third guy:
"Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise to remodel the kitchen."

They continue fishing then realize the fourth guy hasn't said a word.
So they ask him. "You haven't said what you had to do to come fishing. What's the deal?"

Fourth guy:
"I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. It went off, I shut it off, gave the wife a nudge and said, "Fishing or Sex" She said, "Wear sun-block."

#23 mani

mani

    Crete Expert

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 112 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:West Sussex United Kingdom

Posted 15 December 2006 - 10:38 AM

Ton, that was terrible !!
Ian

#24 Emma1310

Emma1310

    Crete Explorer

  • Club Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 333 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Midlands, UK

Posted 11 November 2007 - 08:42 PM



This is a clip of young Aborigines who devised this variation of traditional aboriginal dancing with Zorba's dance in order to keep fit and stave off boredom.
Now is the time for drinking, now the time to beat the earth with unfettered foot.

#25 yannis_s

yannis_s

    Crete Explorer

  • Administrator
  • 1,072 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Heraklion, Crete

Posted 07 January 2008 - 07:05 PM

Greece, a beautiful country with beautiful girls:
Attached File  vlcsnap_45899.jpg   25.76KB   26 downloads

the ex-minister of tourism of Greece... Enjoy the video
Yannis Samatas
webmaster

#26 Wim

Wim

    Crete Explorer

  • Club Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 1,141 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:The Hague Netherlands

Posted 08 January 2008 - 01:06 PM

Good heavens Yanni_s what happened with the beautiful girls?

Ton I loved the one about this fishing. It seems so realistic :D I'm glad I can go fishing whenever I want to, if I'd like fishing that is...

M, I'd seen that one before and didn't know what/how to think about it. I'm both a fan of Kazantzakis, Anthony Quin and the movie. I almost experienced it as a blasphemy. ;)

Must be getting older

B)
True is that adage: "He who yields to rule by wooden heads, becomes himself a fool."

#27 Aurelia

Aurelia

    Crete Expert

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 108 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:United States

Posted 27 January 2008 - 06:32 PM

Hi,
a very good video on a Greek Handyman lamenting that his work is not appreciated...



#28 Ton

Ton

    Crete Explorer

  • Club Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 365 posts

Posted 17 March 2008 - 04:03 PM

A woman meets a Greek man in a bar; they talk; they connect; they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.
There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall! It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organising the display.
There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf. She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large collection of Teddy Bears, she is quite impressed by his sensitive side. but doesn't mention this to him.
They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after awhile, she finds herself thinking, 'Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the future father of my children?' She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips He responds warmly. > They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love.
She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known. After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow.
The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, 'Well,how was it?'
The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says: 'Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf"

#29 Ton

Ton

    Crete Explorer

  • Club Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 365 posts

Posted 16 April 2008 - 10:02 AM

A cocky E.U of Agriculture representative stopped at a Greek farm and talked with an old farmer.
He told the farmer, 'I need to inspect your farm.'
The old Greek farmer said, 'OK, but don't go in that field right over yonder.

'The E.U Agriculture representative said, 'Mister/Kirios, I have the authority of the European Union Commission with me. *See this card?*
The card means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land all over the E.U.
No questions asked or answered.
Have I made myself clear?
Do you understand?'

The farmer nodded politely and went about his farm chores.

Later, the farmer heard loud screams and saw the Agriculture Rep running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's huge-horned prize bull.
The bull was gaining on the Agriculture Rep with every step.

The Rep was clearly terrified, so farmer immediately threw down his tools, ran to the fence and shouted out.....
*'Your card! Your card! Show him your card!'*

#30 yannis_s

yannis_s

    Crete Explorer

  • Administrator
  • 1,072 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Heraklion, Crete

Posted 07 May 2008 - 01:39 PM

How much does it cost to rent a car in Crete? Usually it is quite affordable, but if you want a special car like a Daihatsu Terios SUV for 2 days (June 8 - June 10) delivered to the airport of Heraklion, then get ready to pay 24,000 € or 36,000$. B)
Click on the picture to see it with your own eyes:
Attached File  Magical_Snap___2008.05.07_14.25___001.jpg   68.36KB   31 downloads
This picture is not the result of image editing, but it has been copied from the website of a well-known car rental company.
Yannis Samatas
webmaster

#31 Emma1310

Emma1310

    Crete Explorer

  • Club Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 333 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Midlands, UK

Posted 27 May 2008 - 08:53 PM

here's a little video warning of the dangers of oil tankers.

I know it's not Greek but it's too funny to not share with you.

ADMIN NOTE. The video has been removed from YoutTube
Now is the time for drinking, now the time to beat the earth with unfettered foot.

#32 Wim

Wim

    Crete Explorer

  • Club Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 1,141 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:The Hague Netherlands

Posted 01 June 2008 - 12:06 PM

Emma it reminds of the famous "who is on first"

How about this one?

Posted Image
True is that adage: "He who yields to rule by wooden heads, becomes himself a fool."

#33 Ton

Ton

    Crete Explorer

  • Club Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 365 posts

Posted 24 June 2008 - 03:26 PM

Attached File  2008329.jpg   54.75KB   36 downloads ^_^ :D :lol:

#34 Kritsa Yvonne

Kritsa Yvonne

    Crete Explorer

  • Moderators
  • 396 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Swindon in UK and Kritsa in Crete

Posted 24 June 2008 - 09:06 PM

^_^ At first just could not see it then when I went to full screen and saw your helpful red ring laughed til my sides hurt. Trouble is I was sneeking a look whilst at work and I had to explain my laughing - BUT, it was not funny to people who are not used to seeing a wide variety of Cretan vehicles. :D

Thanks Ton
Kritsa Yvonne

#35 Ton

Ton

    Crete Explorer

  • Club Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 365 posts

Posted 25 June 2008 - 09:33 AM

Funny enough this photo was not taken in Crete. I believe it was taken either in Romania or Bulgaria.

#36 Ton

Ton

    Crete Explorer

  • Club Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 365 posts

Posted 23 July 2008 - 05:51 PM

THE PERFECT DAY FOR HER…
8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses
8:30 Weigh-in 2 kgs lighter than yesterday
8:45 Breakfast in bed—freshly squeezed orange juice and
croissants; open presents- expensive jewellery chosen by
thoughtful partner
9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil
10:00 Light work-out at club with sexy, funny personal trainer
10:30 Facial, manicure, makeup application, shampoo, condition,
blow wave
12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor café
12:45 Catch sight of partner’s ex and notice that she has gained
17 kgs
1:00 Shopping with friends: unlimited credit
3:00 Nap
4:00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist; card is from
secret admirer
4:15 Massage from strong but gentle hunk—says he rarely gets
to work on such a perfect body
5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe
7:30 Candlelit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments
received from other diners/ dancers
10:00 Hot shower- alone
10:50 Carried to bed… freshly ironed, crisp, white linen
11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
11:15 Fall asleep in his big, strong arms
THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM…
6:00 Alarm
6:15 Blow job
6:30 Massive, satisfying shit while reading the sports section
7:00 Breakfast—steak and eggs, coffee and toast—all cooked by naked,
buxom wench who bends over a lot showing her growler
7:30 Limo arrives
7:45 Several beers en route to the airport
9:15 Flight in personal Lear jet
9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route)
9:45 Play front nine (2 under par)
11:45 Lunch—steak and lobster, 3 beers and bottle of Dom Perignon
12:15 Blow job
12:30 Play back nine (4 under)
2:15 Limo back to airport (several bourbons)
2:30 Fly to Bahamas
3:30 Late afternoon fishing expedition with all-female crew, all nude
who also bend over a lot showing their growlers
4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs)—on light tackle
5:00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle MacPherson
(bending over showing her growler, naturally)
6:45 Shit, shower and shave
7:00 Watch news—Michael Jackson assassinated
7:30 Dinner—lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy
fillet steak followed by ice cream served on a big pair of tits
9:00 Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigars in front of wall-sized TV
as you watch football game
9:30 Sex with three women, all with lesbian tendencies
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer
11:30 Night-cap blow job
11:45 In bed alone
11:50 A 22-second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room
11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep

#37 Ton

Ton

    Crete Explorer

  • Club Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 365 posts

Posted 24 July 2008 - 05:48 PM

An Englishman, and American and a Greek were complaining about their stupid wives.

The Englishman says, "my wife saw a sale in the supermarket and bought 50lbs of meat, and we don't even have a freezer!"

The American guys says, "I got that beat. My wife bought a 60,000$ car, and she doesn't even know how to drive!"

But then the greek says, "no, mine beats that. My wife went on vacation last month with her friends, and took 100 condoms with her, and she doesn't even have a dick!"

#38 Wim

Wim

    Crete Explorer

  • Club Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 1,141 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:The Hague Netherlands

Posted 25 July 2008 - 12:26 AM

:mellow:
:o
:D
B)

Dug..
True is that adage: "He who yields to rule by wooden heads, becomes himself a fool."

#39 Wim

Wim

    Crete Explorer

  • Club Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 1,141 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:The Hague Netherlands

Posted 29 August 2008 - 03:54 PM

Three Greeks, Costa, George and Niko as well as three Turks, Melik, Alican and Bora are travelling by train to a conference. At the station, the Turks each buy one ticket and watch as the Greeks buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks Melik. "Watch and you'll see," answers Costa. They all board the train. The Turks take their respective seats but all three Greeks cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The Turks saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Turks decide to copy the Greeks on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Greeks don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says Alican. "Watch and you'll see," answers Niko.

When they board the train the 3 Turks cram into a restroom and the 3 Greeks cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the Greeks leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Turks are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."

:D
True is that adage: "He who yields to rule by wooden heads, becomes himself a fool."

#40 bondopollis

bondopollis

    Traveler

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 60 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:worsley manchester

Posted 29 August 2008 - 04:04 PM

Give order Wim Im still laughing. :D